Otherwise, read on...
Otherwise, read on...
If you’ve had a kid and your life is totally perfect …
(As in, you’re the same FUN person you were before your baby… everyone appreciates all the work you do… you have it all under control and your kids sleep soundly… your partner comes home every night and takes over the kids, looks at the house and tells you what a bloody good job you did… and later gives you a good root because you just look so sexy, before you both settle down for eight hours of blissful sleep…)
If that’s you … then please, tell me your secrets, because I don’t believe you!!!
For the rest of us ladies, we know the TRUTH:
Which is why I have huge news for you:
I’ve finally finished my brand new course “The Queen Plan”.
It’s a six-week video course that you can do on your phone, anytime, from anywhere, in just minutes a week.
And in that time I will coach you through:
- how to put yourself FIRST so everyone makes time for YOU…
- how to rediscover the old, impulsive, FUN identity you lost when you became ‘Mum’...
- how to LOVE your post-children body, not just ‘accept’ it…
- real, practical strategies for getting more sleep…
- how to make other people recognise and thank you for all the sacrifices you make…
- and how to fix your fucked-up relationship, even if you feel lonely and unappreciated, and sex is just another thing on your never-ending to-do list.
By the time we’re done you will go from a self sacrificing, exhausted, pissed off chick, to a true Queen who has rediscovered her identity, laid down some strong boundaries and can actually enjoy this time that is so sacred and special.
But before I tell you more about this course, let me be totally truthful:
It’s not as cheap as my books (sorry, it costs a lot more to make).
And if you don’t have kids yet or they are all grown up, or if you are easily offended, it won’t be very helpful for you.
But if you’re okay with that… and you are a mum who is busy, stressed, unappreciated, guilty, anxious, sleep-deprived, alone, and feeling unsexy… then Queen, this course is for YOU.
And I am going to show you …
Here’s what that looks like.
Recently I heard from one of my Queens, who I’ll call “Emma”.
Emma told me she used to be a fun, free-willed, impulsive person. She could wake up in the morning and literally do ANYTHING at a moment’s notice without asking for help from anyone.
But EVERYTHING changed as soon as she had kids.
Overnight she became “second priority” all the time.
She felt like she could never make a decision that just affected her ever again.
Her days were non-stop, trying to make sure everyone other than HER got what they needed for the day, while nobody gave a shit about what SHE needed.
Still, she felt big-time parental guilt if she ever tried to do anything less, because without her it all just fell apart. And every night after putting the kids to bed she’d collapse, exhausted and overwhelmed, knowing it would all happen again tomorrow.
Her old, fun self was gone.
And in her place, she’d just become… “mum”.
Just “mum”. Staying at home every day burping a little child who was spewing over her. She began to wonder who she was anymore.
If she was even still good at anything other than cleaning, cooking and taxiing kids around.
It took a toll on her body too. She was always exhausted… it was kind of lucky she didn’t get any time to herself any more, because all she would have wanted to do is sleep.
Having kids made her put on weight and she felt embarrassed and ashamed about it. She wouldn’t tell anyone, but sometimes she would look at herself in the mirror and just cry.
And of couse it affected her sex life: she was just too tired for sex most of the time... and it felt like something else on her to-do list.
The rare times sex did happen, two words said it all:
Worst of all, she was doing everything with bugger all support from anyone else.
But of course, nobody saw the sacrifices she made, or ever thanked her.
When I heard Emma’s story it broke my heart, because it’s not just HER story.
It’s MY story.
It’s OUR story.
And if you are reading this, I bet it’s YOUR story.
That’s why I’ve put my heart and soul into making my course, The Queen Plan. It’s for ladies like Emma… and you.
I have dedicated my life to helping women love themselves and find their happiness again after children, and that’s what the Queen Plan is about.
In just six weeks together, I will show you how to rediscover your happiness after having kids — and along the way, fix your sleep, your anxiety, your relationships, your loneliness, your self-image, and your lost sense of purpose.
- Why it's NOT actually your job to put the baby to sleep.
- How to deal with "parental guilt" when you put yourself first (even if your kids are asking you for things you 'should' help with, like getting dressed).
- This may be controversial but I don't care: Why you SHOULD let your kids get hurt to help them grow. And how to do it right.
- The 31 secret to my success that's helped me every time I've been knocked down.
- Solving loneliness in marriage: What other cultures can teach us about happy relationships.
- Why NOT talking to your partner about your feelings is the best way to stop fighting wth him.
- How to build your own "village" of people who are desperate to help you when you need it most (and if you live in modern Australia, I guarantee this won't happen unless you do what I say).
- The exact number of people you should tell about anxiety.
- How to deal with the completely fucked days, when everything is so fucked you don't know a way out.
- The "billionaire" analogy that explains why it's totally okay to feel anxiety.
- Why shit mums DON'T feel parental guilt. When you hear this it will be like a huge weight off your chest, especially if you've ever lost your shit at your kid and you felt sick about it.
- My top lessons from thousands of dollars I've spent on marriage therapy. These lessons have changed my life, and I'm giving them all to you.
- What an ancient tribe from South America can teach you about surviving the first few days of having a baby..
- How to pay for daycare even if you can't afford it on just your wage.
- An actual look at my body to show you it's okay not to be "Hollywood perfect".
- You've probably read my post on "parent sex". But if that's what your normal sex life is like, there's something I want you to do.
- The unusual "ocean mindset" that can instantly help you love your body.
- The only two questions you need to know to figure out your true life purpose.
- Why being bitchy is keeping you oppressed by the patriarchy.
- How you can use social media to actually make yourself and other feel BETTER about your lives.
- The one kind of thought you should never think about another woman, and what to do if you catch yourself doing it.
- Why your husband or partner is actually “programmed” to not help you as much as you’d like — and how to rewrite his programming to put YOU first. Week 1, lesson 1.
- An uncomfortable challenge that could radically change your sex life… you may not like the thought of this when you first hear it, but I promise you, you won’t regret doing it. Week 5, lesson 3.
- A totally legal way of getting ‘high’ when you’re feeling down… without any of the side-effects. Week 2, lesson 1.
- Exactly WHEN and HOW to feed your baby to make them fall asleep like clockwork. It’s taken me years and many kids to figure this out, but it’s crazy how effective it is. Week 1, lesson 3.
- How to pay for daycare even if you can’t afford it on just your wage. Week 4, lesson 2.
- How to get your man to not just respect you… but WORSHIP you as a mother, as a life-giver, as a Queen! Week 2, lesson 2.
- How to confront your partner about financially controlling you if you’re too scared to do it face-to-face. Week 4, lesson 2.
- How to call men out on their bullshit about not helping with the kids at night because they “have to go to work”. Trust me, I’ve heard it, and I know how to deal with it. Week 1, lesson 3.
- The “bear handling” technique for putting a crying baby to sleep. Week 1, lesson 3.
- Why it’s not your fault if you hate your body… but your responsibility to fix (and what to do to fix it). Week 5, lesson 1.
- How to build your own “village” of people who are desperate to help you when you need it most (and if you live in modern Australia, I guarantee this won’t happen unless you do what I say). Week 2, lesson 1.
- Ever wished you could just ‘get up and go’ out of the house without having to explain everything your partner has to take care of while you’re gone? I’ll show you the mental reason that’s stopping you and how to fix it. Week 1, lesson 1.
- The “abusive boyfriend” secret I use for fighting off anxiety attacks.
Let me take a moment to explain this, after all that’s a weird name right?
But it’s true, the way I deal with anxiety attacks is the same way to deal with an abusive boyfriend, and I’ll explain how.
I tried this in a supermarket once when I was about to have an anxiety attack.
And after doing it, I literally COULDN’T have an anxiety attack, even when I tried!
In lesson 1 of week 3 I’ll show you exactly what I did.
Here is more of what we’ve covered in the Queen Plan...
- The “Wednesday rule” an amazing therapist taught me for instantly defusing arguments in your relationship. Week 4, lesson 1.
- Why it’s NOT actually your job to put the baby to sleep. Week 1, lesson 3.
- What you should do before you leave your partner. Week 4, lesson 1.
- The real reason men get credit for doing the smallest shit while women are unappreciated… and how YOU can force them to give you that same appreciation! Week 4, lesson 3.
- Think you have “equal rights” in today’s world? No you don’t. There’s an innocent question you’re probably asking every day that’s ruining that. I’ll show you what you’re doing, and how to fix it. Week 1, lesson 1.
- How to deal with “parental guilt” when you put yourself first (even if your kids are asking you for things you ‘should’ help with, like getting dressed). Week 1, lesson 1.
- The #1 secret to my success that’s helped me every time I’ve been knocked down. Week 1, lesson 2.
- This may be controversial but I don’t care: Why you SHOULD let your kids get hurt to help them grow. And how to do it right. Week 1, lesson 2.
- Step-by-step what to do if you get cheated on. Don’t worry, I’ve learned this the hard way. Week 4, lesson 1.
- Why your kids NEED you to be a selfish motherfucker! Week 1, lesson 1.
- The huge parenting mistake you could be making… and the worst part is, the harder you try, the worse this gets (many kids who are parented like this end up on drugs, and some even end up dead). Week 1, lesson 2.
- Why NOT talking to your partner about your feelings is the best way to stop fighting with him. Week 2, lesson 1.
- The exact number of people you should tell about your anxiety. Week 3, lesson 1.
- How to deal with the completely s days, when everything is so fucked you don’t know a way out. Week 3, lesson 2.
- If your baby is sleeping well now, don’t be a smug bitch — why it could all go wrong a lot sooner than you think. Week 1, lesson 3.
- Solving loneliness in marriage: What Chinese people know about happy relationships that we don’t! Week 2, lesson 1.
- A secret way of using an ordinary kettle to cure symptoms that can feel like depression!
Let me take a moment to say obviously I’m not a qualified doctor.
I have a PhD in absolutely fucking nothing, and I think I may have even forged my hairdressing certificate.
So I’m definitely not saying you can just ‘cure’ depression with what I’m going to show you. Depression is a serious topic and you should get professional help immediately.
All I’m saying is that I had something that felt like depression to me, but it ended up being something totally different. And I found a way to make the feelings go away.
You’ll find what I did in the first lesson in week 2.
Here’s more of what we’re covering in the Queen Plan:
- Why the “studies” on kids sleeping are bullshit (doing the ‘accepted’ thing could lead to 2 years of sleepless agony, instead of 2 days if you do what I tell you). Week 1, lesson 3.
- The best time to get marriage counselling (from someone who’s been there). Week 2, lesson 1.
- The one kind of thought you should never think about another woman, and what to do if you catch yourself doing it. Week 6, lesson 3.
- The only two questions you need to know to figure out your true life purpose. Week 6, lesson 1.
- How to teach your husband what it’s like to be a mum without making him parent for a week. Week 2, lesson 2.
- How to get men to understand their ‘single focus’ privilege: why they can go out and ‘run errands’ while we have to manage kids. Week 2, lesson 2.
- The “billionaire” analogy that explains why it’s totally okay to feel anxiety. Week 3, lesson 1.
- Why being bitchy is keeping you oppressed by the patriarchy. Week 6, lesson 3.
- Why shit mums DON’T feel parental guilt. When you hear this it will be like a huge weight off your chest, especially if you’ve ever lost your shit at your kid and you felt sick about it. Week 3, lesson 3.
- My top lessons from thousands of dollars I’ve spent on marriage therapy. These lessons have changed my life, and I’m giving them all to you. Week 4, lesson 1.
- What an ancient tribe from South America can teach you about surviving the first few days of having a baby. Week 4, lesson 1.
- The mindset shift that turns your TV watching, internet browsing and social media use from ‘disempowering’ to ‘empowering’. Week 4, lesson 3.
- An actual look at my body and scars to show you it’s okay not to be “Hollywood perfect”. Week 5, lesson 2.
- You’ve probably read my post on ‘parent sex’. But if that’s what your normal sex life is like, there’s something I want you to do. Week 5, lesson 3.
- Why being empowered is the opposite of what you think it is. Week 6, lesson 2.
- How you can use social media to actually make yourself and others feel BETTER about your lives. Week 6, lesson 2.
- The unusual “ocean mindset” that can instantly help you love your body. Week 5, lesson 1.
- An unexpected hormone that women produce during good sex that is scientifically proven to make you more powerful. In fact this is the reason that historically our sex lives have been repressed by men. I’ll show you how to deliberately ‘tap in’ to this rush! Week 5, lesson 3.
- The absolute worst time to try and make a man listen to you. (Talk to him at this time and I guarantee he will not listen to a single thing you say. And yet this is when EVERYONE tries to do it!) Week 2, lesson 2.
And so many more things that are going to help you become the Queen you need to be: How long after an argument to explain that you’re right (week 2, lesson 2)... what to do when your partner wants sex and you don’t even want to think about it (week 5, lesson 3)... why not sharing a bank account with your partner could sting you big time (week 4, lesson 2)... how to change a baby’s sleeping habits in three days (week 1, lesson 3)... how to genuinely convince your man that you’re the sexiest woman alive (week 5, lesson 2)... and so much more.
Does that look like a lot? I guess it is. But don’t worry, because you will actually be able to do all this in just a few minutes a week, from your phone, wherever you choose.
And even better...
As part of the Queen Plan you will get a private invitation to a closed Facebook group while you are completing the course.
Think of this closed group as your own ‘Queendom’ of other Queens in training who are all on this journey together.
Our relationships, our anxiety, our body image, our tiredness, it’s all the same, and I want you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Best of all, I will be doing live Q and A sessions in the Facebook group once a week, so I can answer your questions and help you on your way to the Queenhood!
When we were making this course, some people told me it should cost $1,000, like so many other courses. But that’s not what it’s about for me.
Yes, I’m running a business and have mouths to feed. But my passion has always been and will always be about creating happier mums, I’m on a mission to help women get there.
Which is why I decided to price the Queen Plan at just $197.
That pissed a lot of people off, because it’s as cheap as we could make it to cover our costs. And I know it will also piss off people who hate to see a woman charging any money at all for anything she sells that can help people.
But I’m not sorry, because I know I worked hard to make the Queen Plan fucking AMAZING, and the lessons you will learn are invaluable… as long as it is right for you.
To be clear, you shouldn’t join The Queen Plan if you don’t have kids, or if your kids are all grown up, or if you’re easily offended, or if you’re not willing to hear some hard truths that might make you a bit uncomfortable.
But if you're tired, if your relationship went to shit, if your anxiety is through the roof, if you’re lonely, if you hate your body and you don’t have a fucking clue who you are, then this course is for you my Queen!
- 365 days of unlimited access
- 6 weeks of videos coaching you how to put yourself FIRST so everyone makes time for YOU… how to rediscover your old, impulsive, FUN identity... how to LOVE your post-children body… real, practical strategies for getting more sleep… how to make other people recognise all the sacrifices you make… and how to fix your fucked-up relationships
- Invitation to a private Queen Plan Facebook group with weekly Live Q&As with me